If Only I Were Prettier….
Forgive me if you feel I am overstating things when I say that most western women spend a good portion of their lives wishing they were different; prettier, skinner, wealthier, more of x and less of y…did I mention skinnier?
We have this deeply held belief that if we could just change that one (two, or 10) tiny little things about ourselves our lives would be easier.
Meet Eva Longoria,
Sienna Miller,
Liz Hurely,
Eva, Sienna and Liz are just three of the world’s most celebrated women – they are beautiful, wealthy, successful women. They have it all right? Along with their success and beauty, the other thing these woman all have in common is that they have all been cheated on by their partners (and now Liz, *ahem* I mean Elizabeth, is engaged to Shane Warne, the ultimate philanderer!)
We can spend ours lives wishing we were different and thinking that if we could change ourselves we’d be more lovable, more likeable, happier or whatever else it is that we dream of but it’s all a lie. Being skinny, being Hollywood beautiful, having the cash to spend a fortune on your home or yourself, won’t give you a perfect life – it wouldn’t even guarantee you a better one.
Stop wishing you were different, stop looking for the flaws, stop focusing on the bits you don’t like or that you think others won’t like.
It’s at this point I wish I had something really profound to say…but I don’t. I’d like to say that I’m ok with that because I’m ok with me – and mostly, that’s true but this post is a reminder to me as much as is to anyone else; I’m never going to be everything I’d like to be, but I can be a lot of things I’m very happy about. The only person who can decide that that’s enough – is me.
And the only person who can decide for you, is you. So what about it?
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Mummble
Stitch Baby + Kids
Amen Sister :O) I hear you and I’m right there with you.
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WOW – you say that you don’t have anything profound to say…. but you do!
I love this line in particular:
“Stop wishing you were different, stop looking for the flaws, stop focusing on the bits you don’t like or that you think others won’t like.”
I wish we could teach our children this from a very early age. Encourage them to embrace the body they have, the face they have, and that but keeping themselves fit & healthy they will have a happier life- one without having to focus on the bits they don’t like.
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I don’t spend as much time worrying about my looks as I did before I was a Mama. I think some of that is because my looks and “presentation” were so much a part of my previous roles. I’m somehow more comfortable in my own skin these days too. Maybe it’s age or maybe it’s having a much fuller life. I think your words about self acceptance are very true and if you’re ever in doubt of your beauty give me a “call” & I shall remind you of the first impression I had of you. Xxx
such a true post! it took me a long time to be happy with me but Im getting there slowly and realising that happiness has got nothing what so ever to do with how you look! x
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dont worry, be happy :-) takes age and wisdom to realise that being u is good enough :-)
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nothing profound to say??? but you already said it!
I am not sure if it is our culture, or just a personal hang up…. but it really is so hard just to be satisfied and to enjoy all the fabulous things we do, have and are. I’m still working on this, and probably will be till the day I die!
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Such an interesting post Louisa. I spent waaaaay too much time in the past wishing I was a different version of me for many of the reasons you describe. These days I am working on being the best version of me that I can be, for me. That means working out, eating right etc, etc but not because it will change anything in my life, but because I know it makes me be a better person.
Does that make any sense whatsoever? I think it is good to strive to improve myself but I also think the reason why I do that matters and as you say, it isn’t for anything other than my own self worth. And these days I have a good sense of that. Thanks for making me think about this.
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It sure does make sense :) I feel that by being the best version of ourselves, we can then work on giving to others and that is what truly matters (not whether our hips are just that little bit pudgy!) x
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Love this post! I have to say if I was completely honest there are far too many times that I think to myself “thinner” or “prettier” or “better dressed” I’d be happier and be able to achieve more. It’s crazy! I’ve found as I get older, I’m doing it less and believing in myself more – this post is a great reminder.
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Great post! I’ve just nudged one year closer to my 30th birthday and each year, a little bit of my insecurities crumble away and I learn to love myself that little more more. I can only be the best that I can be. Thanks for reminding me of this :)
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