Louisa Claire



Unwelcome.

 

I was bullied in primary school.

I don’t remember much of it, but I do remember coming home every day and lying on my parents bed crying my eyes out.

My mum says it was a really hard time, that she didn’t know what was wrong or what to do. A teacher once told her that I was the sort of child who would make a great adult, but have a really hard childhood.

It’s hard for me to tell you exactly what happened or what it was like because I honestly don’t remember. I have vague memories of feeling outnumbered a lot, lonely and teased a lot and I’m not sure if this actually happened but I feel like one year one of the kids had a birthday party and everyone was invited except me. I was unwelcome.

The truth is that it doesn’t actually matter what happened – what matters is the way it made me feel and the way that impacted my sense of identity, my confidence and my ability to make friends.

That last comment may seem silly to you; in some ways it now seems incredibly insignificant now as an adult but at the time it was devastating and moreover, really confusing.

In high school I finally had to confront these demons.  I didn’t have many friends until mid-late high school and really struggled to get along with my peers. I learnt late in high school that I’d had an all out war with a feel student when we were in Year 6. I had absolutely no idea. My mind had just erased it. The journey of processing things I couldn’t remember but feelings that were so powerful was long and painful…the journey toward forgiveness was even harder. But I did it and finish high school with a great group of friends, happy and getting along with most of my year group.

I thought it was all behind me aside from one little thing.

Please God, don’t let this baby be a girl.

The very thought that I would have a little girl who was just like me was…please no.

This is what I know about feeling left out…

No matter how much you think you leave these things behind, the truth is that the pain of these memories, however incomplete they are, never does go. Last year I was driving along and a segment on ABC radio came on about bullies and I found myself on the freeway with tears streaming down my face. As I listened to one commenter suggest that if you’ve been bullied you just have to “get over it” I wanted to scream at him. Here I was, 29 a mother to 1 and pregnant and the stories and fear that grips me when I look at my daughter, is still totally raw.

I feel sick at the thought that once I did make friends that maybe I was the girl who made another feel unwelcome. Shit.

And I am still totally insecure when it comes to making new friends and whether I really am all that likable after all and find myself doubting whether I really have any friends, or whether people really like me at all.

It’s crazy to think like that.

But I do.

When I  heard that ABC segment I tried to call in but after being on hold for 25minutes to tell my story I gave up. If I’d gotten through, this is what I would have said….


There was absolutely nothing gained from being bullied. It didn’t make me a stronger person or any of that crap. It sucked and tormented me for a long time. The idea that a child will learn some great life lesson from being bullied is very dangerous. I have made it very clear to The Architect and my family at large that if my children are bullied, I will pull them out of school and even home school them if necessary. There is nothing to be gained from being bullied, there is no silver lining. You aren’t doing anyone any favours by believing otherwise.

I know that could be a bit harsh and that someone reading this might have a child in this situation. I don’t know your situation, I just know mine. And I know that if my child was in that situation, if I was able to, I would remove them immediately and figure out the rest from there.

The second thing, do not underestimate the power you have to speak over your child’s life. It may take them a long time to hear you, or believe you but you need to tell them every day that you love them and the specific gifts that they have that you see – kindness, intelligence, thoughtfulness, musical ability. Whatever it is, make sure you tell them over and over and over again. While I have no memories of my school days as a child, I have vibrant, wonderful memories of family life. Family was safe and fun – I remember all the good things and the normal family teasing that happens – because it wasn’t traumatic, it was normal, safe and wonderful.

So when Bliss comes home and tells me she’s sad, that the kids make her feel sad and that she wants to be with me…you’ll forgive me for analysing every single option at our disposal to be sure that history isn’t repeated.


This has been a hard post to write because I know that people I went to school with read this blog and they probably have better memories of the type of person I was during those late primary, early high school years than I do. During late high school I became a much more confident, and more popular person and am pleased to say that most days, I am a pretty confident, very happy woman who knows just how blessed she is. Most days.


Thoughts on “Unwelcome.

  1. Oh Louisa, I know how you feel. I went to a small primary school where I didn’t click with the other kids. They picked on me and I had no self esteem or confidence. Even in high school I found it hard to make friends and didnt really have many until mid high school. It was then that I found my confidence and became somewhat popular.
    Like you, I still have difficulties maintaining friendships or making new ones. So, I just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone and others have felt the same way you have xx

  2. Louisa, not only do we share a name, but it seems a ridiculous bullied childhood. i too know the feeling of being a child, and yearning to be with my family where is was safe, loving and kind. Primary school, was full of tears, trusting “new” friends, and wondering when they will turn against me. what a horrible way to live. my stomach is in knots writing this, and I am now a 36 year old successful woman, wife and mother.

    I too look at my happy two year old and wonder, will she remain this happy, bubbly girl. Or will she be the girl that the kids single out, and ridicule. The though terrifies me.

    thank you for sharing this moving post – and know that you are not alone. Lots of people can help make a change. Louisa xo
    Louisa recently posted..ELM paper – GIVE AWAYMy Profile

    • How lovely to meet a fellow Louisa! I am so sorry that our similarities go beyond that however. It’s crazy how much of an impact these stories can still have on us as grown adults. We can just hope that our experiences will arm us to protect our children and build resilience in them in other ways. Thanks for sharing x

  3. Oh I just read Just us kids online’s blog about bullying. I can’t believe how common it is. Why do we human beings treat others like this….just so we can be “cool”. It’s not cool and it’s not nice!

    And I said in that one I’m currently reading a book about bullying called Please Stop Laughing at Me by Jodee Blanco. It’s a really good book and eye-opening.
    http://www.amazon.com/Please-Stop-Laughing-Me-ebook/dp/B0040JHNRA/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1317689383&sr=1-1

    • Thanks for sharing both that link and also Norlin’s post – I had missed it but will have a read later.

      It’s a very good question you ask…wish I had the answer!

  4. THanks so much for this post.

    I agree, people have NO IDEA how distructive and terrible bullying is and how much it affects you. I was bullied in highschool, though I didn’t realise it at the time, because the people who were doing it were my “friends”. The catty comments, the friendliness when away from others and the ignoring or mean comments when others were there- has had a huge impact on my life.

    For years, despite the large evidence to the contrary, i felt like I didn’t have friends, the people only hung out with me because they were sorry for me, that if I wasn’t the perfect friend then people would leave me. It’s only been in the last 7 years or so that I have gotten over this, and started to see the world as it really is. I even got an apology from an old friend, which has had a huge impact also, just so great to have someone acknowledge that it was wrong, and not my fault.

    This is such a serious issue, and I am glad you are addressing it.
    love Belinda

  5. I think you just wrote out my childhood, including the hangovers that being bullied leaves. It damages self esteem, and it DOES affect things later in life. I absolutely agree, I didn’t learn anything by being bullied, it didn’t make me stronger or more resilliant or anything.

    I hear you when you say how it makes you feel when Bliss says that the kids make her sad. Amy is having similar issues at the moment I’m probably having a harder time dealing with it than I should be. My consolation is that the teachers and aides in her class are absolutely fantastic and everything gets dealt with. But Amy still has trouble making friends and it kills me to watch.

    PS, I absolutely do love you and you are fantastic, so there.
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    • Ok firstly, you are lovely.
      Secondly, Amy is so lucky to have you as her Mum
      Thirdly, man I hope that you get some pretty awesome stuff thrown your way soon because you are WELL overdue.
      much love
      xx

  6. Lou this was me until late high school when I discovered the youth group we met at…and even then I still felt on the outer…it wasn’t until uni that I made deeper friendships… and even now I often find it hard to believe that people actually like me rather than pity me…I dread the same thing being a characteristic of my kids lives…
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    • That youth group was amazing for me (too?) – it really gave me an environment I could feel confident in and though imperfect, it was a great blessing for me. Thanks for sharing, and I’m just so sorry this story is a familiar one xx

  7. Oh Louisa I know I know I know :(

    I was the ‘fat kid’ in late primary school and treated accordingly. I remember I’d go to the toilet at recess and my ‘friends’ would run away and hide from me. They called me ‘Fat Albert’.

    But sadly that was nothing on my highschool years :(

    I fear for my kids, but figure all I can do is try to help them develop strong self esteem and resilience, and be there when they need me.
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  8. Louisa, I went through a similar experience throughout school and as a result I have those same fears for my daughters. My eldest was bullied. We homeschooled for 6 months, tried the same school again then pulled her out and put her in another.

    Now she’s happy and confident. I’m relieved. You do what you have to, but I hope your kids never have to experience it x
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    • Thanks so much for sharing that. I am so sorry to hear that you had to do that but at the same time it is so great to hear that you took action and were able to make it work for her. What a truly lucky daughter you have xx

  9. This post scared me. It brought up a lot of memories that I would rather not remember. I may share my story and thoughts on my blog if that is ok with you?
    I am so glad to hear you had a wonderful family around you. Something I did not have. And you are very right about your children. Why expose them to something that will hurt them if you have the power to stop it. Emotional pain is JUST as harmful as physical pain. Would you hold your kids hand on the scolding iron just because you told them not to touch it and they did? No. Why keep them in a bullying situation when you have the power to stop it?
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    • Firstly, I’m so sorry.
      Secondly, blog to your little hearts content
      Thirdly…I’ve got nothing, just heartache at how many people have a story like this one. x

  10. Sadly, I think bullying is very common.

    I too was bullied for a large portion of my school, and even pre-school life. Similar to you, I don’t really remember specific instances, just the loneliness and isolation. I remember faking being sick just so that I wouldn’t have to go to school.

    I have a little sister who I am 12 years older than. She is only in grade 1, and I see so much of me in her, which is terrifying. While I don’t know if she is being bullied as such, I don’t think she is quite fitting in. She seems different to the other kids, and somewhat isolated. Although, he seems to love school, so I hope everything is ok and it’s just me being paranoid!

    My little brother, who is 2 years older, has a friend who is being bullied. The school they go to is fantastic, but they don’t seem to have dealt with the situation very well. The bully was supposed to receive 3 lunch time detentions for kicking my brothers friends in the nut. As it is, the punishment isn’t enough. But the school ‘forgot’ to give him his detention.

    I really do think schools and society need to take a stronger stance against bullying. It IS serious, and it IS damaging. I completely agree with you too about reinforcing kids self esteem, by telling them every day that you love them, and how wonderful they are.

    Even though I am not a mother, I have watched my little brother and sister grow up, and have been a huge part of their life. I have helped raise them, and love them more than anything. I completely understand how you feel about the fear that they may go through what you did. I couldn’t bare to seem them suffer because of nasty little kids, who aren’t dealt with properly.

    On another note, my partner was bullied in primary school and early highschool. He is now 21, and is still affected by it. He has a terrible self esteem, despite being attractive and an amazing person.

    Great post, sorry for the essay! It’s a sensitive subject!

    xx Jess

  11. I think bullying is such a common phenomenon that it makes it even a bigger and sadder issues. I was also bullied when I was in grade school. Did it affect my self esteem? Sure it does, until today in fact, even though my high school years were pretty good. No make it great. I always believed I was a bad person. It wasn’t until a few years ago when I realised that was what I felt and thought. It took a few women to keep on telling others that I was nice to realise it. It felt weird to have people thought me of being nice. Why? Because after grade school, I just went through life steering clear of controversy, fights, anything that might pull me in and make me the “punching bag” again. I never sought to suck up or please people, I just wanted to be me. And I did. And now I realise, being me is great. That the bullies were the ones with issues. Not me.
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  12. Firstly, can I say that I remember you in those years and you were lovely, delightful and a joy to be around. I know I wasn’t one of your peers and I’m older than you, but I do remember commenting on how you were one of the most level-headed and generous kids I ever had the privilege of leading at church.

    In saying that, I also was bullied in Year 6. For a period of 4 months, not one girl in my class spoke to me. This has also re-surfaced for me as an adult, a parent and a teacher. I have been told the story by my family many times, as it disturbed them to see me so miserable, but I also have blocked most of it out. It appears that I was bullied because one girl was jealous that I was school captain and she convinced my entire class to turn against me. My mother was one of those people who never went up to the school about anything, but she did go up and talk to the teacher about this. Unfortunately, the teacher told her that it must have just been that I was sad about my grandparents dying and that it had nothing to do with anything that was going on in her class. Of course, this was not true. The death of my grandparents had just weakened my ability to cope with the situation. Not surprisingly, my mother never trusted schools enough to ever go to them about anything again. Luckily for me, one boy was brave enough to stand up to these girls and break the cycle.

    However, I would say this to you. This incident impacts me strongly as a teacher. As you can see from the comments above, it is far more prevalent than we would like to think. However, I know that I am not the only teacher to have gone through it. Most teachers are much more aware of it these days and I would encourage you to always give the school a chance to handle it before making a rash decision and removing your gorgeous daughter (or son!). Sometimes it is just one child who needs to be dealt with swiftly and strongly and the incident can be over. Unfortunately, as a teacher, the hardest thing is that bullies are usually very good at doing things away from the watchful eyes of teachers, making it very hard to prove.

    The best thing you can do for your children is to help them to have inner strength and to deal with it appropriately.
    1. Walk away.
    2. Tell an adult (particularly a teacher).
    3. Encourage them to make a wide range of friends (not just a best friend) so that they always have another group of friends to turn to, if things turn sour.

    I hope that helps. xox

  13. I was bullied in primary school – I wore glasses and was overweight and was a little different. I remember being sad all the time and spending my lunch times wandering the playground by myself. It has had a lasting impression on me. I found it hard to make friendships in high school and have always had issues with self image and confidence. I agree that bullying achieves nothing and i worry so much about my own kids, one of whom has 2 distinct disabilities and will always look and act different. He starts in a mainstream class next year and I am already so very worried about how he will be treated by his classmates…why does this happen over and over again, seemingly, to each and every one of us?
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  14. I agree with you completely {I’m sure you are reeling with shock}

    There is nothing to be learnt from being bullied. I was bullied and ridiculed and I didn’t gain anything from it. The only thing I learnt was that I was fundamentally unlikeable, that no matter which crowd I approached or tried to make friends with I didn’t fit. And so what I took away from it at the end of all that was that if you reached out to people they were likely to burn your arm off, it was better to be alone on my own than alone in a crowd and no version of myself was worthy, likeable or acceptable.

    You are doing just what you need to do to protect your baby.
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  15. Lou, I would do the same. I really think bullying has changed over the years. It’s no longer something you just have to expect during your school years that kids just have to put up with, kids are taking their own lives to escape from it. I’m so sick of reading in the news every other day, or so it seems, that yet another child has been driven to the edge by bullying.

    I think though, to a degree, everyone is bullied. And that bullying is happening at every school, not just the ones we hear about on the news.

    My sister and I went to at least 6 different schools when we were growing up, here in Australia and in the US. I remember specific events at every one of those schools and they were not occasional. One such time, in year 7, a boy pulled a knife on us as we were walking home from school. In the middle of the day on a semi-busy street across the road from a packed bus stop, and no one did a thing. Even after the police were involved, nothing changed.

    It’s a huge world-wide problem and it’s getting worse. I would do anything I possibly could to stop my children from having the same childhood I did.

    What is making kids so hateful and vicious to each other!!!

  16. I’m so sorry that you went through this Louisa.

    Unfortunately I can relate to this. I was bullied from my first day of kindergarten, even bullied by kids at church. Even some of the teachers at our high school made some comments that would be considered a form of bullying, that have stayed with me even to this day.

    I have never really felt like I have fitted in. I have friends and a wonderful husband, but deep down the feeling in of not fitting in exists.

    • Some of the teachers in our high school said some pretty crap things over the years. I’m sorry you feel like that Kathryn, but from what these comments are telling me – you are very much not alone. x

  17. I would like to say sorry to you Louisa, while I don’t remember bullying you (and being the fat, shy girl in the class I don’t think I would have been a bully), I do have one memory of a physical fight with you in about 2nd grade that your post has brought to the surface. I’m really sorry that your schooling experience was not what it should have been, I remember you being the most wonderful, kind and giving person in the school. Unfortunately children feel the need to raise their own self esteem by lowering others…

    • Oh Ann! No! definitely not a bully and honestly, it’s not even something I think about in terms of particular people, just a general sense of being lonely and unlikable – after Kali moved away especially. You are very lovely and I’m very glad that our families have been connected the way they have over the past 2+decades! x

  18. There is a fair amount of bullying which children keep to themselves. I was bullied by constant name calling and at times it became my nickname.
    I has bright red uncontrollable hair ‘Natydreadlocks”
    I had protuding front teeth, wore braces with a head gear ” Plug & Goofy”
    Had a Spanish Accent ” Wog, Spick,”
    I know it was really upsetting inside, but never told my parents and just pretended it didn’t bother me, when I really just wanted the world to swallow me up.
    I find with the children I work with even as young as three we do a lot of role playing, so that they know to speak up if they are hurting inside.

  19. Oh Louisa, I hear you on this.

    I was bullied mercilessly in primary school over my weight, and was a very shy and introverted child. I had one ‘best friend’ the whole time but was regularly excluded from sports teams, playground games and actually physically bullied at one point (punched and kicked). It was horrific.

    I learned to go into my own world, a world of make-believe and books, and I believe that’s what saved me. The bullied must learn somehow, to create a buffer that protects them and that was mine.

    I still don’t have a whole lot of real-life friends and find it difficult to maintain friendships, I think because deep down I can’t believe that I could be important to anyone and that I really matter. I prefer communicating in writing which is something I think a lot of bloggers have in common.

    I don’t know what I’ll do if my daughter is ever bullied :( She’s three and already she sometimes comes home from daycare and says her friends won’t play with her. It tears my heart out.

    Thanks for this post, it really spoke to me.
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  21. Firstly I’d just like to say that from your blog, twitter and facebook, you are totally likeable!
    I don’t remember being “bullied” and the specifics of being teased a whole lot, but I definitely remember being made to feel unwelcome and being excluded and left out intentionally. I remember being called “fat” a lot, and thinking I was huge, especially in early high school. I was the tallest girl in our class and was 54kg at 1.68cm. I look back and can’t imagine what it would be like to be that SKINNY, let alone why I thought I was fat.
    I too, still have a lot of trouble making new friends, always assume I am on the outer and spend my time analysing my behaviour just hoping I haven’t made myself seem stupid or un-likeable.
    The thought that my children could be made to feel like this makes me feel sick too.
    All the love in the world, Louisa.
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    • Thanks Daisy, you are so lovely! It saddens me deeply at how common these experiences are. It also amazes me how blind we are to our appearance when we are young too! Thanks for sharing lovely x

  22. Bullying comes in so many forms, Popps was bullied last year, in a way only four year old girls can. Of course she wanted to be friends with them and did all the nasty things they said she had to. Kinder teacher was useless. Giving her a second year of kinder, now as an older child, not the younger, things a different.

    You should also remember that usually, Mum knows best, so re Bliss, do what your heart tells you is best.

    And lastly, Bullies are not just a childhood thing. They are alive and well for grown women too. They hide behind “just being honest” or use the power of email where they can send a message from afar and not see your reaction to their words. Sometimes they are trolls on blogs, but mainly they are people who you think would like you, but then your not so sure, and then you wonder why they don’t and then you rationalize things to tell yourself it doesn’t matter cos you are grown up and can handle things better. But standing up to bullies is an excellent lesson to view for children. To see that you can say no to a bully, that is where I hope I can find the strength next time I need to.
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    • Oh Claire, what’s with the useless teachers! You are so right about bullies and adults, it’s quite awful really. The neighbours kids are being a bit mean to Bliss at the moment and it’s been interesting to talk with her and find that my advice is – spend tme with ppl who make you feel good. In some ways it is as simple as that.

  23. Reading through your post and then all the comments I’m just stunned. Stunned at how common this experience was for so many. How very, very sad.

    There was one semester in HS after my parents divorce when my mom moved to another town. I was in a new HS and I remember eating lunch alone almost every day. It was excruciating. At the same time, I was very active in the youth bowling circuit and had the experience there of being quite popular. It was such a strange experience, to be both on the inside and the outside at the same time. Eye opening.

    I fear for my kids. I think we all do. If they ever tell me about a situation at school when another child was mean to them, I just die a little inside. It’s worse when it’s your kids being hurt.

    You are beautiful Louisa. Truly, truly beautiful, inside and out. xo
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  24. Lou, this was beautifully written and heartbreaking. I’ve just recently re-discovered your blog and was reading back through a few entries.

    It’s funny – I remember you at Senior High, where I was quiet and shy and felt out-of-it, and I looked at you and thought how cool you were, and how fun and together you seemed. Maybe this was when you weren’t struggling quite as much at school but still, it just goes to show how much we assume about others when really we don’t know at all. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks – not for appearing all together, but for always being kind and friendly, even when you were struggling yourself. It made a difference to me :)

    On another note, I hope you had a wonderful time celebrating your beautiful boy. Happy birthday to him!

    Kate
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    • Oh kate, you are lovely. SH was a place I did feel at home and gave me the space to feel comfortable and happy so I guess it was a different season for me there but thanks for your kind words, I learnt a lot during that time about the value of being able to accept NOT being “together” all the time, if that makes sense. Your comment brought back so many warm memories of hanging out with so many lovely people, thank you for that xx

  25. I can’t read all 48 comments, so please forgive if I repeat.

    I was bullied. Badly. But in High School. Too white, too loud, and the worst of it, too cold when my sister, my only sibling died. They never looked deeper. They were kids themselves. They never saw my parents fall apart. Thye didn’t think my frozen state was grief, loss, pain.

    Last year my mother died. My then 11 year old fell apart. And the vultures swooped. The bullies who target the weak. He tried to kill himself. 11. And he wanted to die. No, nothing good comes of this ever.

    Thank you. That is all I can say.

    • I have been thinking about your comment since you left it and am lost for words. I need to say thank you, to you, for your bravery and honesty – I wish I had a more adequate response.

  26. New follower on board and although I never experienced bullying, my ex partner did and is very much a big part of why he is my ex. He never worked through it,his mother never did anything about it and his feeling of self worth was forever broken. Good on you for overcoming those demons and while you may still feelit lingering, you, for the most part, are the victor as you go through your life as a happy, successful woman and mother :)
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    • Thanks for saying hello and for your encouraging words. I am so sorry your ex wasn’t able to process, it’s certainly a very painful thing to work through. x

  27. This. Exactly this. THIS is my biggest fear for my children. I think every day about their physical safety and I can do things to manage that, but the thought of this being either one of my children is just utterly gut wrenching. I have said the same to my husband, I am a teacher, if our children are ever in this situation, I am pulling them out and homeschooling them faster than you can say “Wait, what?”.

    I consider myself so very very fortunate that despite so very many reasons to be bullied, I never was. Girls were mean, I was picked on, boys teased me about being fat in high school, but on the whole, despite always feeling insecure, I have really good memories of school. I don’t know anyone else who can tell me the same thing. That is really scary.

    xo

  28. me too. lots. horrid.
    In primary school my own peer group was fine, I guess I was popular. But at the same time a group of girls a couple of years older, one of them my next door neighbour, bullied me mercilessy. Chased me home, called me names, tore off my backpack and threw it away. They were so mean and I hated them.
    I had another bully in intermediate school. she was a nasty piece of work. I remember these girl’s names vividly.
    I also remember another girl being bullied and I feel horrible thinking I may have been a part of that. Or even if I just watched, that’s bad enough. I remember her name too and often wonder how she is.

    By high school, I was free from these particular girls. High school was more about bitchiness than bullying. I was able to ignore most of it. Or I’ve forgotten it.

    Like you and most of the commenters, I dread my own children falling victim to this all too common bullying.
    I like what you said about speaking over it. It’s very important.

    oh and by the way, I consider you a friend and I think you’re awesome.
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  29. Hello Louisa, and your readers,
    I so wish I could say “here’s what to do” about bullying. It makes me incredibly saddened that as a parent, grandmother, teacher and school principal these events and issues carry forward, and are printed into your emotional memories forever.
    I have memories of a bit of teasing, in my younger years, and a teacher’s unkind response which was humiliating. I also know that moving from a regional school to a city school at the vulnerable age of 10 made it more challenging than if I had grown up there. My school days in primary school were essentially days of good memories, with some words of teasing thrown in. In high school I needed to adapt to a bigger environment, and I made friends.
    I was schooled in the 1950s and 1960s. I became a teacher because I love kids and learning in 1970. I believe that the world in which kids play and learn is one where they navigate outside family rules and safety and sometimes there are kids whose own upbringing is not matching those of yours or mine. It remains a very complex matter…bullying (I do not recall it even being named bullying until the 1980s onwards) but I also know it has existed as a base for power over the so-called ‘powerless’. This is how adults do it today. But in sneakier ways. As I said, I have no answers, only that no-one wants to see any child (teen or adult) hurt by words or actions of others. Ever. It is a societal issue as much as an educational and family one. Happy to write more if you want a guest post…it can truly be a forever topic. I could at least let your readers know how schools are endeavouring to do their utmost for the children. Denyse
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  30. Wow, Louisa, I feel like you have been wandering around in my head! My primary school years were just so similar, and I carried many of the issues through to secondary school and beyond. Even now as a thirty-something I hold friends at a distance.

    My biggest starts school next year and I do fear this for him as he is so much like me. I can only pray that it won’t happen.

  31. I was bullied through most of my school years. It didn’t help that throughout my childhood I was made to feel worthless and never good enough by those who should have cherished and protected me. My family never stood up for me. Never tried to help.

    The only time I have ever felt that I fitted in was at uni. And then when that was over, all my friends, but one, deserted me and I never saw them again.

    I still feel I don’t fit in. I think I am making a connection with someone, but their interest seems to be fleeting, until they set eyes on someone more interesting. I still feel left out. Life just passes me by. I’m so sick of trying.

    It’s actually easier to just keep to myself. To accept I’m just not that interesting, or sociable, or whatever. At least it’s better than being actively bullied…
    Dorothy recently posted..A gift in my inboxMy Profile

  32. Pingback: When You…Or Your Child Doesn’t Get Invited » Everything is Edible

  33. Pingback: The 11 Most Popular Posts for 2011 | Louisa Claire

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