Louisa Claire



For the past couple of weeks I’ve been dealing with increasing feelings of stress. Some of it is as a result of real concerns and issues and my inability to see a way through them. Some of the stress has to do with my tendency to cope poorly when the stress starts and to let a snowball effect take place.

Either way, the bursting into tears at the Apple store and collapsing into bed at 4.30pm tell me somethings amiss, and I don’t want to live like this. (I did not mean for that sentence to rhyme!)

There’s no real reason for me to share this today except to say that sometimes when I write a happy update on Facebook or tweet, what I really want to says is “Far out I am a not coping right now.” but I don’t, because finding the positive in my day or something positive in the world helps to re-frame my focus. And that’s a good thing.

Other times, like this morning, I sit down and think “crap, I just don’t know where to start” and so I’m not going to just spurt out the positive; to do that would be false.

Many of you know that I’m a person of faith, and my belief in a God who loves me and cares about what’s good for me is not just a comfort but a practical encouragement that the burdens I feel so heavily on my shoulders are not mine to bear alone. Reminding myself that that His care and involvement in my life is a real, lived, experience is where I get stuck when the feelings of stress take over. Faith is not stagnant, but an active experience just like any other relationship. But sometimes, I just feel like that sick, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach is going to take over. I suspect that is a feeling you too may be familiar with.

To win the battle, I need to win control of my mind – to choose trust, and faith as my response and to seek practical ways to cope and respond to the challenges I can see ahead for me. It’s also to choose to enjoy the moments that I’ve been given, that are wonderful…and to make as many more wonderful moments as I can.

Some days that’s a whole lot easier said, than done.

How well do you cope with stress? What do you do to keep the waves of anxiety at bay, or is this something you struggle with too?

Thoughts on “Stress

  1. I usually read a book, rant to Nathan for a bit, or turn the music up really loud. I also find making a list of all the things that are bothering me and promising myself that I will deal with things LATER is a good way to make my brain shut up.

    You know where I am if you want to chat :-) Not as good as coffee in person, but the distance thing is a pain.

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  2. I’m a stresshead but find it cycles, so I’m more likely to fall into pit of despair when I’m about to get my period and if I can at least remember that fact that in a couple of days time the things stressing me will not seem so dire.
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    • Oh yes, hormones. They are NOT my friend – you’re so right that if I can remember that’s why I am feeling stressed and that it will pass as the hormones subside it really does help. x

  3. Stress is one of those wonderful things in life that will always be there and seems to be always on the increase. It’s how you deal with it that is the key. I find talking with close friends and family can help to alleviate this, but the most important thing is as you stated above “…to choose trust, and faith as my response…” – Alex
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  4. Lou I do not seal with stress well. It also affects my IBS which is not fun.
    I try and plan my day as best I can so that things do not overwhelm me. It also helps to have a bit of a plan with Iain travelling. But it also needs to be flexible so that if things do go pear shaped it doesn’t matter. Also try not to pack toooooo much into your day and learn to say NO.
    Maybe also set aside an hour for your blogging…..and not at 11pm when you should be sleeping…..
    Clean two rooms in the house a day and so on. That way you will get on top of it.
    Lou you may need

  5. Grrr, pressed publish. So to continue…..
    Lou you may need to re-evaluate how much you do in a day and maybe list the most important things to the least. You can’t do it all Hun and something may have to give to let you be less stressed….
    Lots of Love

    P.S…Fibi and Bart are the proud parents of a baby boy…Alexander James. Born on the afternoon of the 22nd. A lovely little brother for Miss Amelia whose 3 on the 25th.

  6. In my past, I’ve at times found having faith actually added to my stress because I felt I shouldn’t have let myself that to that point in the first place. But we are all fallible and imperfect and I learnt to stop beating myself up over that. You’ve got the answer already in taming your mind, trust and practical coping steps. It’s just easier said than done. I struggle too. I’m a bit highly strung that way. I am far from successful with this, but but nipping it in the bud, stopping to take a few deep breaths, helps sometimes. Sometimes, though, the answers or coping mechanisms depend on what the stressor is and whether it is a real or imagined stress caused by worry. And there’s nothing wrong with projecting positivity. I believe, just as we can speak and think ourselves into deeper, darker holes, we can also do the opposite. I’m rambling a bit. Sorry if this isn’t all that helpful. I hope you get on top of it all soon.
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    • I know what your mean Veronica and I too am naturally a bit highly strung – or at least can be inclined that way when I feel overwhelmed especially. Thanks for your encouraging words x

  7. oh, me too Lou! Sometimes I just feel So submerged in all the needs of everyone, and I just want to scream, hide in bed, or at the worst time, run away. Someitmes I wonder if anyone else lives a life like mine. Our Mr 13 has high functioning autism, last year Miss 7 was diagnosed with it, and recently Miss 12 has been discovered to have a severe case of ADHD. I still can’t believe I missed that one…and I struggle with the guilt of having let her down.

    But, I agree SO much. I struggle always with the level of “control” I have in/over my life. And I struggle with remembering that it is only God who has the real control. I KNOW that what to me appears insurmountable, is a mote of dust in God’s plan for me, and that He will overcome and if I ask for help, it will be given.

    I started this morning feeling overwhelmed with getting Miss 12 out the door to high school. I don’t usually read blogs at this time of the day! But, through His mercy, I did. Thank you. God luck with your day, and may God’s blessing go with you in everthing you do. Hugs.

    • Oh Anna, that’s all a lot to be dealing with. May you know His peace and comfort too as you deal (so marvelously!) with your children. You are always such a beautiful encouragement to me Anna, and I appreciate it greatly. Sending love to you now xx

  8. Firstly when you have the weepies try a berroca (quick dose of vitamin B can help). My mantra is that this too shall pass. I also believe parenthood is a bit like being a member of AA except instead of taking it one day at a time you sometimes have to resort to one minute at a time and that covers everything not just the kids. Sadly many of my family and friends have taken the approach of just get over it afterall I was the one who wanted kids. Now I learn to hold on until there is a space for a hot cup of tea and five minutes to myself if I’m lucky. Writing lists helps and sometimes just breathing. Wish I had more but that’s it!

    • My mum is a huge advocate of Berrocca too! LOL! I’ve just run out of my stash so thanks for the reminder :) The “you asked for it” mentally is incredibly unhelfpul, and sad really. Tea helps. All such true and wise words Leisa, thank you!

  9. I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling this stress right now. Sometimes it can sneak up on us really quickly and it can seem so hard to get on top of. In the past I have dealt with stress through emotional eating (certainly not a good thing!), but this year I have finally found a way through it. For me, healthy eating and regular exercise helps to lift some of the weight off my shoulders and helps me to deal with things so much better. x
    Shelley recently posted..12WBT: Day TenMy Profile

    • Thanks Shelley, I have been doing some emotional eating of late and you’re right, it’s not a good thing at all. I long for a way to do regular exercise but at the moment it feels really hard to even see how I could do it. Thanks for the encouragement to make it a priority! x

  10. I’m sorry to hear you’re so stressed right now, love. I think it is a part of life – I’ve had a pretty weird/rough 9 months or so and it’s showing in my face/hair/body/spirit. I find myself pulling away from everything and everyone alot, I need that space to recoup and come back a bit stronger than before. The best gift you can give yourself, is yourself.
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  11. Stress can really suck the joy out of life can’t it.
    I often get that overwhelmed feeling… like I have fallen into a giant hole and I can’t see a way out. And even though I know a big part of finding the way is to change my thinking and be more positive, sometimes it is so hard to find a way to do that.
    Sometimes I just have to let it stew for a while and carry on as best I can…. then eventually I know it will get easier and I’ll find the way out. Sometimes I sit down and write an actual plan about how I am going to fix all the stuff that is overwhelming me… and even though I know half the time I won’t do any of my plan, or that the plan is a bit pie in the sky and probably won’t work… for some reason that makes me feel a little more in control and I can begin to dig my way out.

    Much love and I hope you find your way soon
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    • One of the best things I ever heard was when you are feeling overwhelmed ask yourself “What one thing could happen to make me feel differently about this or to make this situation better?” – it makes it achievable and practical and is empowering. I try to remember to ask it and to focus on it and not the sense of being overwhelmed…sometimes it’s easier to do than other times! Reading your comment kind of made me think of that question again xx

  12. I don’t. I don’t cope at all. I am a huge massive mess, I detatch, and because of that I stress even more.

    Ideally I would have someone I could sit down and talk to, to lean on, get them to take over and give me a bit of a break, or a chance to be guiltlessly selfish for a while. I don’t have that though. I was actually pondering this yesterday in the midst of a really anxious day and many typed out and then erased tweets. I don’t have a single person in my life I could cry to, I could say “I am not ok” to. Something is just completely wrong about that. Not a SINGLE person?

    It really depends on what is stressing me out. If it’s that I have a lot I need to do, writing lists and trying to plan what I should do when helps me a lot. If it’s matters of the heart, or of the mind, I tend to ignore them. Sometimes there are stressors I can’t really do anything about but wait and see. Those are the worst, that waiting game is torturous.

    I hope that whatever is stressing you, that it isn’t too much, or you’re not left waiting too long for what you need. Talk to someone if you can. Don’t hold it in. It’s ok to say you’re not ok <3
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    • I have no idea if this is going to help or not but reading your comment really took me back a couple of years ago, when Bliss was first born and I felt like I couldn’t tell ANYONE how I felt – not my husband, my mother, my friends – noone. It was bloody scary. Then I made a new friend, and she was honest with me – she would tell me how she really felt, or when her husband was frustrating her and through that she taught me to be vulnerable. She helped me realise that when you have a safe person you can speak honestly without fear of being judged – I can tell her if The Architect has upset me and she won’t immediately assume that he is a) a bastard or b) our marriage is in trouble – she’ll hear it for what it is – a bad day, a hard week or the rant of a sleep deprived Mum. Up until then I feared judgement and in part that was the result of my sleep deprived mind playing games with me. Anyway, my point is you only need ONE person and maybe that person is already there but needs you to be the first people to open up. Maybe. Or maybe you’ll meet them tomorrow. I really hope you do love, because what I hear in your comment is so familiar to me and I really hope for you that there can be that safe person in your life very soon. Much love xx

      • You have hit the nail on the head Louisa!
        It is exactly that for me, that I am the person so many people come to and they vent and I will give some solid advice followed up with a joke or something silly. In most cases that favour isn’t returned, it is an obvious burden for them to hear about my troubles in return. In the other amount of cases are people who have burned me. I have opened up and trusted them, and they have used it against me, or rejected me because of it.
        I fear both of those kinds of rejections, and so I have stopped bothering.
        It’s easier to not try, and not fail, than to put myself out there and lose a companion.

        I do crave that person who I can talk to, I’m just yet to find them, and sadly it’s not for a lack of trying. I do test my waters with everyone and look for signs of it being ok to divulge further, or if I should back off.
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  13. I swear by Rescue Remedy from Bach Flowers and taking some deep breaths. And lately I’ve been singing Guy Sebastian’s song Don’t worry, Be Happy to myself. Some wonderful lines in there – especially “Is it really that bad?
    Really that bad, I don’t think it’s really that bad”

  14. Last week I had a full blown anxiety attack, the second in my life. I felt like I was having a heart attack, it was awful.

    It was also a big wake up call. Nothing is worth reaching that level of stress. It has not been easy but I have made a determined and conscious effort to let go of the things that are out of my control and trust that the universe will see me right, as it always has thus far.

    The things that ARE in my control, well I’ve made lists. Lots of lists. And by breaking it all down it has become so much more manageable :)

    Also, outsource what you can busy woman. You know where I am ;) xox
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  15. Funny you should write this today. All I can say is ME TOO. I am completely overwhelmde by the weight of responsibility, the number of people depending on me, and a never ending list of things to do. I never seem to put anything on that list for myself or if I do, it gets done last or not at all. So…today I have decided to cross out one day every fortnight where I don’t do anything for anyone else except myself and necessary school transport. I feel better already just having made that decision

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