So, I was starting to worry about the black dog…
The past 24hours the level of overwhelm and stress in my life reached new levels. I’ve felt anxious and cranky. a lot.
Yesterday I could hardly wake up. I felt so. tired.
I put it down to getting sick…Bear has a cold and I have caught it.
That’s tiring right? Especially on a body that’s already a bit drained from breastfeeding an infant. Right?
Today I woke up feeling teary from the get go. Little things that shouldn’t have touched me, had me in state of knots.
I had a drafted a post about having three children. I wanted it to be light and funny but it was coming together dark and gloomy instead.
I read Veronica’s post and she reminded me that depression lies. And I remembered that I know that.
So I tried to step back and see the lies and beat them down.
—
This morning I realised that for the first time in two years I’ve got Bliss home with me full time. And now we’ve got Bluey, that’s three children. full time. by myself.
This is a level of “full-on-ness” I’ve not experienced before.
I was thoroughly spoilt at Mum and Dad’s with the kids going straight to them every morning, Mum looking after the shopping…and the washing. (yes I was super super spoilt).
And now I am home. The house is dusty because we’ve been gone so long. The kids are itching for activity. There are toys everywhere and my hands are constantly full. The house remains unmentionable and the only reason I am writing this blog post is because I am on hold on the phone.
—
It’s not the black dog that’s haunting me, it’s just re-entering the normal atmosphere of life.
This isn’t a whinge, just a pause. Just a comment on how full life is with three… my heart is overflowing but so are my hands.
My hat goes of to you who juggle like this all the time…and those who have been juggling for longer than me. (oh, and any words of advice or wisdom will be most gratefully received).
xx
Mummble
Stitch Baby + Kids
You are doing an amazing job Louisa! It definitely looks like a major juggle. I will be there in May! Try to lower your expectations (especially on yourself & the tidiness of the house) and be kind to yourself too.
I love the way you phrased your heart is overflowing and so are your hands. A lovely perspective.
Take care xoxo
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Oh Amy, as much as there have been some overwhelming days for the most part having three is really beautiful and manageable. Don’t be scared! It is a juggle but I am seeing it as an adjustment, I feel like I’ve taken a few steps back with managing all the different aspects of home & kids & life but I think that as I re-adjust I will regain that ground. I am so excited for you and can’t wait to hear about your new bubba!!
big hugs hon – i can only imagine 3 children by yourself – take it one day at a time and cut yourself a LOT of slack lovely
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Thanks lovely x
My only real advice is to try and take five minutes to yourself every day, minumum. Just to breathe and to remind yourself that this will get easier and that your hands won’t always be so full.
I think I’ve got it easier in a way, because Amy is six and once school goes back, she’s there full time again this year. It’s sanity saving.
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Thank you gorgeous. I am really torn about Bliss starting school – on the one hand I know it will make life easier at home and she will really enjoy and benefit from the stimulation but at the same time I know I am going to miss her and feel sad that this era is over. I think my Mama Guilt is rearing it’s head there a bit too! Either way it’s happening and we’ve only got a few more sleeps til it’s here…!
Sending much love to you. xoxo
You are doing an amazing job and yes kids are very hard work and most of the time, we feel exhausted, unappreciated and overwhelmed… well that’s how it was for me.
On the bright side, there are all of those cuddles, kisses and moments of pure joy that make the gloom worthwhile. I’m at the other end of the spectrum. My youngest starts big school next week, and I’m dreading it.
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Oh Anorina, I can only imagine what it must be like to send your baby off to school – wow! Good luck with it!!
Oh Lou, 3 kids is HARD!
An interesting point my psychiatrist told me – among predisposing factors for PND is. …. … having 3 children under the age of 5.
Give yourself a couple of weeks, and see where you’re heading emotionally. But if you still feel like this – or worse – remember you’ve been through this before and know what to do to get help. And go get it. And it’s normal to feel torn about Bliss and school. It’s a big change for both of you, it has real emotional impact.
Words of advice? Bliss will be SO TIRED after school for first term you won’t believe it. She’ll need mummy time at the end of each day, so, nap whenever you can. Doesn’t matter if Bear watches tv and you snooze with Bluey on the couch. Keep that sleep up. You know how damaging it is when you don’t get enough. Oh, the psych told me THAT was a predisposing factor too. Finally – be kind to yourself. And it does get better!
Oh Anna, neither of those things surprise me really! Thank you for sharing though, makes me feel better! Thanks for the tip re Bliss, I sense you are spot on with that! xx
Oh darling friend.
Get the kids to do some of the chores. When Bluey is down for a sleep get the kids to help you dust. They’ll have fun and even tho it won’t be perfect it’ll get done. Get Bliss to help you seperate the laundry. Great practice for counting, adding and Bear can help too and learn his colours. Mine earn pocket money for doing their chores. Can you do one bottle a day for Bluey that Bliss can give him. Will give her a chance to bond with her brother and give you some time with Bear.
Get the kids to do a Teddy Bears picnic.
Put on some music and let the kids put on a dance show for you and Bluey.
Insist on down time where they have to stay on their beds for half an hour and rest…I did that with Nieve till she was 4 and still do it with them both now when I think they need to.
Good luck my love
Xxxx
Thanks hun, some good tips here! I particularly like the dancing one !! :)
Aaah, I remember those feelings. Going from 2 kids to 3, and having Lolly home with me instead of at daycare fulltime was a huge shock to the system. Much as I adore my kids, it took me some time to start enjoying my new life.
Once I worked out the parts I wasn’t enjoying, and set in place some routines to deal with those bits I started enjoying it all again. For example, I know Lolly will be like an angsty seagull foraging for crumbs right when I am trying to feed, so now I prepare her snack privately in the kitchen first, and keep it hidden under a couch cushion until its time for her to have it. Then I have it handy when she is ready for her snack.
You are a great mumma LC, I know you the good parts will start overtaking the overwhelming parts again soon xx
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Lol when I said Lolly will be foraging for her snacks when I am trying to feed, I meant when I am trying to feed the infant! Not myself
I like the idea of identifying the parts that aren’t enjoyable and then building a strategy around them. That makes SO much sense!!
Whenever you add another little life to your family, it is a significant change – for everyone in the family. And everyone one has to adapt. Youre such a capable woman Louisa that I’m sure you will see your way through it. Although that doesn’t mean you have to manage it all alone. Go easy on yourself. One moment at a time. Best wishes! Jodie @ Prent Wellbeing
Thanks Jodie, really appreciate that. x
You have such an amazing perspective on life Louisa. Your awareness will be a major factor in how you fare. You’re in tune with how you’re feeling, you understand why. Just make sure to look after yourself the best you can. Tidy houses are overrated ;)
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Thanks Laney, you are always so encouraging!!
I think rest time is my sanity saver, though as we get to the very end of summer holidays I am really feeling the fulltime 3 young kids thing and as we have no family in the state, I don’t get much childcare either. My older kids rest (aka read, play in separate rooms on their own) from 1 or 1:30 til 3pm and my littlest has her second sleep starting somewhere between 1:30 and 2 so I usually get an hour to myself. It’s something I’m glad I kept up with my first so now it’s just an institution in our family. Once school starts I’ll sometimes only have one at home and I think it will be strange. I’m pretty pleased to have made it through the wilderness that is 3 kids at home all the time. Praying for all us mummies.
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Thanks Libby, praying indeed! The start of school really changes things and we haven’t even started yet! Well done on getting through the holidays and from the sounds of it, actually managing to enjoy them a bit too!! I think the rest thing is a great idea – we have done it a bit but I think I could enforce it more with Bliss…
I hate that black dog. I will come chase it away. Xxx
Bless you Mrs Woog. You are Wooglaicious! xx
I’m not sure it gets easier as they get older but it is different! My kids are now 17 (year 12 this year), nine and turning eight. We still insist on at least one hour downtime a weekend with no computer tv or electronic devices (books are encouraged) for all five of us each weekend. My hubby and I both feel
It’s important for the kids to learn to be still in busy lives. Re housework find a sacred chair or corner and make it yours. No toys, washing or mess allowed! A big washing basket (we still have our massive cane one) can be used to pop all the toys in for a quick tidy up that makes the house look better quickly and kids love throwing things in. Now my kids are older I have four pretty gift boxes ( yes one for hubby) where I drop things into for them to sort and put away rather than cleaning up after them all the time. Best tip invest in at least a once a month house cleaner. That way it’s not left up to you all the time. Some times we have to be clear with ourselves that we are looking after ourselves as much as our families. My mum always told us to follow the airlines advice – first put on your oxygen mask so that you can then help others. Oh and don’t forget to breathe!! Lots of luck and positive thoughts going your way.
Thank you Leisa, these are wonderful tips! My sister arranged for a cleaner to come today which I am so grateful for – depending on how it goes they may well be sticking around! x
I’ll second the cleaner idea…we got one when we moved into a rectory because I am totally hopeless at keeping up with the house. It saves my sanity and on occasion my marriage!! It is worth every cent!!! Keep telling me about 3 kids…I’m trying to work out that idea for our family and I might need some talking around…
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