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On drinking, at home, alone, with kids.
Right now I’m home alone, the Happy Husband having been caught up in the storm in the city. I’ve gotten the kiddos down, had a glass of wine and am making my dinner.
It’s occured to me that should an emergency take place right now I probably shouldn’t drive.
It’s only one glass that I’ve had but I don’t drink much, especially at the moment while breastfeeding and it’s raining quite hard so I wouldn’t be happy putting the kids in the car and getting behind the wheel.
Obviously tonight was an accident. When I poured my glass of wine we didn’t realise HH was going to get stuck in the city. BUT, it’s true that I would have had the glass of wine even if had known. In fact, any night I know HH won’t be home in time to help get the kids down is almost a guaranteed wine night – I *need* it by the end of the day with both kiddos. More accurately, I enjoy it at the end of a long day.
So, opening myself up to some potentially strong criticism (if I haven’t already) – is it totally inappropriate to have a glass or two of wine when you are home by yourself with kids? What if we were both home and we both had a couple of glasses making it unsafe for us to drive – if HH was here he would be having a glass or two with me. Then potentially neither of us could drive. What then?
Please don’t misunderstand me – I don’t drink a lot and I’ve only been drunk once in my life and it was an accident (make what you will of that, it’s a true story – at a church dinner no less but that’s a story for another day – remind me!) We don’t sit around getting piss*d, just a glass or two over dinner in the evening and not every day. I am entirely able to respond to my children, meet their needs – the only inhibitor there is exhaustion, not alchohol.
I’ve never really thought about it before tonight. So I wonder, have you? What’s your rule of thumb?
I should add that at this point in time the children are awake again and of the three people in this house now, we are all either crying or on the verge of. And so, I’m off to have another glass of wine. So there.
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Mummble
Stitch Baby + Kids
As a sole parent, the emergency thing crosses my mind everytime I have a drink at home. I usually sit on one glass of wine for ages at home, and on the rare occasion a second though I have a taxi fare stashed in the cupboard in case of emergency!
A taxi fare that’s a clever idea. I can’t even imagine what you must need to think of as a single parent – I’m about to have a nervous breakdown after just a few hard weeks. My goodness. I’m off to visit your blog properly now. Thanks for commenting – it’s lovely to be interacting when I’m feeling so completely overit!
Louisa, Louisa, Louisa! Tsk tsk tsk, drinking with the kiddies? Nah just kidding, I’ve got a well deserved glass of wine in my hand at this very moment!
I actually feel the same way, although I have been known to *ahem* drink to excess on quite a few occasions, and none of those times was at a church function.
I think it’s always best to have a responsible, sober adult at home with the kids in the event of an emergency – And I’m not really a “the worst could happen” person, yet I believe this is important.
I would never forgive myself if something happened and I couldn’t function enough to deal with the situation.
I’m still breastfeeding too, so I only drink when I know I have a “window”. And even then I have some expressed milk in the freezer just in case!
So, after that, all I say is Cheers!
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and cheers to you too! Thanks lovely, feeling much better esp as I am now on my *ahem* third glass for the evening! Methinks the milk shall be defrosted tonight and hubs shall be doing the goodness-knows-what-time feed in a few hours!
I don’t see what’s wrong with one or two small glasses. Infact, like you, I LOVE my glass of wine at the end of the day. It’s my treat. And I don’t want to get pickled, I just love the taste. We are responsible adults and would never put our kids at risk. So eat, drink and be merry xxx
Thanks Lolls! Looking forward to sharing a bottle with you one of these days!
I’m with you on this – I do have a glass or two of wine occasionally when it’s just me and the kids in the house, and sometimes my husband and I will share a bottle too so that neither of us would be in a fit state to drive. I don’t really worry about it – I figure if the worst did happen and we needed to take one of the kids to hospital, either they’d gradually get sick and we’d have sobered up by the time we needed to do anything, or it would come on so quickly (or an accident would happen?) that we’d be justified in calling an ambulance anyway. And the odds that anything would happen are very slim.
(Having said all that, I’m also breastfeeding, so never have more than two small-ish glasses anyway at the moment.)
I’m feeling very reassured by all the comments & by the fact I’m not the only bf’ing mama who has a sip or two in the evenings :)
I also did this without thought, not thinking anything of it. Then, one night it dawned on me (I had read a blog about a mom in this exact situation), and I thought, Oh yeah! Duh! I need to be more thoughtful/careful about that! Anyways, you are not alone. And you don’t sound like a drunk. It is healthy that we think of it and then have a back up plan or what have you, rather than just getting raving drunk whenever you want and never giving it a second thought.
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Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts Kristy, I’m glad I don’t sound like a drunk :) I LOVE the name of your blog (also quite like me a glass of pinot too!) I think you’re right – it’s just good to stop and think before you find yourself in a tricky situation.
I must admit that this is fairly new terrain for me. Until our separation a year ago, I was married to a non-drinker, and though I am not a big drinker myself, I could always take his sobriety for granted, esp. when it came to driving. Like everyone else who’s posted, I still enjoy my evening glass of wine or two with a meal, but not to the point of incapacitating myself with my children’s caregiving, though I am more mindful of what I am modeling to them than anything else.
The question of modelling is so key for me too espcesially now as Bliss is able to understand so much of what she sees & hears but can’t always fully process it. It would definitely be an adjustment (perhaps one of many?) having to think about who will be driving, or that you are driving etc… Just as I am writing this comment my TWO year old has just asked if she could have a cup of coffee. She regularly asks for tea too so I’m thinking it’s my consumption of those things that I need to be giving thought to rather than my consumption of vino….oh dear!
I guess it’s something I’d never thought of, because I don’t drink (my body appears to hate alcohol, a glass of wine is not worth a week of throwing up). My partner used to be a big drinker, but he’s recently quit too and we’re heading towards a dry household, which feels really weird!
But hey, whatever gets you through. I’m fairly certain a couple of glasses of wine isn’t going to drastically change how you parent and in the event of an emergency, I’d assume that there are taxi’s, etc available. Stress less.
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A dry house – I can see why that would feel weird :) And as much as I love my wine I’m pretty sure I also wouldn’t find it to be worth a week of throwing up either!
Ah Lou,
So sorry you are doing it tough at present. I have my husband home a lot these days but can sympathise with doing many bathtimes, dinners and bedtimes by myself when E was very little.
personally I don’t really find wine that helpful as we never have any *nice* plonk in the house – however, we keep rum for a naughty hot chocolate or two. Still, I am sure that in an emergency the taxi would be fine ( they take credit cards these days so you wouldn’t need to be prepared). I have insomnia and have found alcohol makes it worse for me so I refrain these days – but I was known to put away wine or beer in the earlier days.
I don’t know, I just trust that God made the wine to ‘gladden the heart’ ( Ecclesiastes somewhere) – because he knows our lives can be full of pain and struggle and they are days when I know one or two glasses would really help.
All things are good if they are received with thanksgiving, ergo, feeling guilty about it is not giving thanks to God – so Louisa, repent of your sin of feeling guilty!
XOX Amy
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Hi Amy, I’m not actually sure that I was feeling guilty about this so much as wondering outloud but there are some other things there to repent of! Thanks for your thoughts and encouragement – it can be a hard slog sometimes but couldn’t live without them!
One should always keep a bottle of brandy on hand for *ahem* medicinal purposes. Or a bottle of pinot. Well, that’s my theory anyhow.
There are just those days when I say to myself, “If it’s 5 o’clock and the kids are still alive, then I’ve done my job” and a little tipple is in order.
Keeping a taxi stash is a perfectly sensible idea!
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Mmm…pinot. People keep talking about pinot and it’s not helpful because it’s not yet midday! :) I wholeheartedy agree about surviving til 5! It’s not in the parenting manual though…why is that??
I wouldn’t sweat it. Surely there’s a neighbor about that you could trust in the unlikely event some kind of emergency occurred? Do you have ambulance service where you are? Taxi cabs? With only 1 or 2 glasses of wine you’d still be coherent enough to come up with these things. I certainly wouldn’t get behind the wheel, but I think many times stone cold sober, a panicked mum probably shouldn’t anyway. I mean, I know I’m not sure I’d be in any shape to drive if caught home alone and I don’t drink anymore at all. I’d be coherent enough to administer CPR or something like that, but too worried about the sick/injured child to do anything that wasn’t directly focused on the child. I would spend so much time looking back to check up on them that I’d likely crash into something. (Which is never good when everyone in the car is in good health.)
Let it go. You’ve earned your glass of wine.
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It’s good to hear that most of us are on the same page about this issue and I completely agree that no panicked parent should drive – I would be exactly the same!
I don’t drink at all either, but I have to say, I love the taxi fare idea for those who do, what a great idea!
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You’re right the taxi idea is a really helpful and practical one!
You know I’ve never even thought of this. I rarely drink and I don’t know that I’ve ever had a drink alone, so perhaps that’s why. But even so, I don’t think it would have occurred to me. If it were truly an emergency that really required driving, I would probably just drive on one glass of wine, to be honest. I don’t generally drink more than that — doesn’t agree with me.
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Louisa is a Mummy Blogger who writes about ‘real mum’ moments. This blog is a place for anyone who is trying to work out what their purpose is in life and live it fully.
Oh my friend, you are my new hero – you’ve never had a glass of wine alone. I feel like such a slushie now … (is that the word??) LMAO… at myself. Oh dear….Must. Sleep. Now
Hey Lou,
I’m not much of a drinker at all (never been drunk) but we always have a bottle of baileys at home (for me) and sometimes if I’m lucky a bottle of Pimms and Brandy. They are my tipples…and if I have a glass of one a month it’s a big month.
Tea however is definitely worth thinking about since I drink lots of it, and Bede (1) LOVES it!!! mind you I didn’t introduce him to it. (Poppy did) I’m not against him drinking it, and until he’s 3, he’ll be drinking peppermint tea as a treat with Mummy, and after he’s three he can have weak Daintree (T2 extra low caf) tea with Mummy. Does that make me a bad mother? I don’t think so.
What’s with grandparents & tea? Bliss’ grandma did the same but her tea of choice is Camomille. I did let her have an extremely diluted cup of real tea the other week though and she drank it all.Still not sure what I think about it….
I think the only reason I love tea so much is because I used to drink it all the time with MY grandparents…it’s the gift that just keeps on giving…or spoiling…
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Hey..I don’t normally drink as well, stopped a long time ago. But I think 1 glass is alright, and if there was an emergency, your body’s adrenaline will kick in, and you won’t even feel the alcohol.
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Adrenaline – good thinking! Amazing what it can get you through.
I think you raised an interesting issue. personally I am quite happy to have one glass of wine when I am home alone with the kids (those evenings are when I really neeeeeed one) I would feel quite comfy driving after one or two but am very careful after that….
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I think I would probably be OK too but it did get me thinking…thanks for sharing :)
I love a glass of wine at the end of the day and am looking forward to going back to the habit after this baby is born. I have wondered the same thing though, what to do in case of emergency? Having money saved for taxi and ambulance cover is what reassures me.
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