There’s nothing quite like a pregnancy to make you feel helpless.

I’m in that awkward phase; in between DR appointments that reassure me that all is progressing well and that bubs is safe and thriving and yet not feeling bubs moving around, giving me that wonderful constant comfort that all is well.

I don’t look pregnant – just fat(ter) so no tummy to prove to the world myself that this is real, and at the same time I’m starting to feel well again, less nauseua, less tired – this is a blessing, an answer to prayer and yet it leaves me…anxious.

I cannot tell you how much I long to see that little heartbeating on the screen again.

….

I bought the sweetest little outfit for the baby today…maybe he/she will be known as Little Owl? I bought it as an act of faith; that all is and will remain, well. I’ve done this with each of my other pregnancies and have loved having a special little outfit for the baby to wear in hospital – something just for them. 

 

When I look at the deep excitement in my daughters face, and listen to the enthusiasm in her voice as she speaks of “our baby” my heart feels so happy and overwhelmed with the love in her and yet terrified at the same time.

What if??

Even saying these words out load is terrifying. What if I am pre-empting something by writing this? I don’t believe that of course, but my goodness….the helplessness I feel right now is just so constant.

 

 Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and throw up in the driveaway as I race out the door. It’s a strange world to live in when that is something you actually wish for. 

 

Father asked us, “What was God’s noblest work?” Anna said, “Men”, but I said “Babies”. Men are often bad, but babies never are.
Louisa May Alcott

 

 

My husband looked at me last night and said “There was a moment in time, where we had Kevin Rudd and Malcolm Turbull leading the parties; two reasonable men… and now we have this.”

I am so angry right now, so angry. And stupefied.

 

Dear Australian Labor Party,

I think you have missed the point. When you almost lost the last election it wasn’t because people stampeded to the right of your policies. It was because they went left. I’m not sure if you missed that lesson in kindergarten where you learnt the different between your left and right but now might be a really good time to figure it out.

When you lost votes, it was not because people felt your policies were too “radical” (can we even believe that caring for people might be considered radical!) nor was it because people felt your policies were too soft, as much as the opposition liked to bang on about it. It was because people realised there there was the Liberal Party, the Labor Liberal Party and the Greens. People (for the most part) didn’t actually vote for the Greens because they wanted them in power, they voted out of PROTEST.

Stop being so bloody worried about polls and what you think people want and do the things that are supposed to be at the core of your party values.

Do that, and you might find yourself pleasantly surprise.

 

Yours,

Louisa

 

p.s. I realise that not everyone will agree with my take on politics, but I really needed to get this out.

 

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I started my business, Brand Meets Blog, when my youngest child was a mere 4 months, and my oldest had just turned 3. I had a passion for blogging and the blogging community and felt I had something to offer; thanks to the enthusiastic enthusiastic encouragement of my mentor, Alli Price and my supportive husband I took the plunge and set up shop.

I had absolutely no idea what I was in for!

The business took off and before I knew it I was struggling to get everything done. I loved the work and was thrilled to see the business growing so fast but along with the excitement came an unease about the amount of time I was investing in it, and the corresponding lack of time being invested at home – particularly quality time for my husband. While I could mostly work during the kids sleep, taking the baby with me to meetings and interstate events while my daughter was at her kinder/childcare meant that kids were still getting a lot of me…my poor husband was the one missing out.

With Bear at the Qld Kelloggs Mum event

The business community, especially online, is rich with passion and diversity. What I really needed though, was someone to hold my hand and tell me how to do it with two kids in tow. I started looking around and listening to the tales of other business owners. I heard from some women that they worked through the night, or while in hospital days after giving birth. I heard from others that they dedicate whole portions of the weekend to work, while their husband takes over the reigns in the house. While making sense to me, none of these options felt like they were right for our family.

You could say I wanted it all – the part time job that fit flexibly around the family and allowed me to fulfil my mothering instincts while being an awesome wife. Doing it all with a sparkling sink and a sweet smile of course!

After months of working til middnight every night, I decided I needed to make some changes.

One day I stumbled across an article entitled “I started a business with a baby” – hooray! A woman who could tell me how to do it, or at least how she did it! I was totally dismayed when I started reading and discovered that this Mum had her child in childcare full time – not because of any opinion about childcare but because what I so desperately wanted to hear was that I could do this without going down that route. Like many mums in business, I’d started this with the dream of family flexibility, and instead found myself with less time than before. I was trying to find a way out and after reading another article that wasn’t where I wanted to go I decided that in the absence of a roadmap I was going to have to forge my own path.

As much as I’d like to take credit for this realisation, I must acknowledge the gentle prodding of my husband in this process; he reminded me of the things I’ve always said and always stood for as well as that I wasn’t on my own, this wasn’t a burden that was “mine” but “ours”. He’s a wise man, and I’m very grateful for his patience!

My first step was to set some boundaries – no more working every night. I allowed myself 3 nights a week to work – Monday, Wednesday and Thursday – and the rest were to be away from the computer. The second set was to outsource by taking on staff to help with my work, as well as a cleaner to help with the housework.

All this was guided by an over-riding principle about my priorities. I decided that I want to finish the day feeling like I’ve spent time with the kids and my husband – that comes first. While I could have worked full time and gotten everything done, that wasn’t part of my vision for my family or my work. I decided that outsourcing, though limiting my earning potential, wasn’t going to send me backwards and would mean that I was better able to stick to my priorities.

Making the decision NOT to work 24/7, and not to focus on the financial aspects of a business can be a frightening step. We live in a society that largely assesses success based on the fiscal circumstances and growth of both individuals and businesses. By letting go of that yard stick, I’ve released myself to forge a path that is distinctly right for us. I’ve realised that if I wasn’t working, I’d be doing “something” because that’s part of who I am – feeling guilty about my desire and passion for work is futile; however letting it take over my life is dangerous.

I continue to love me work and to work very hard at it but I’m also making sure I take the time to both enjoy and nurture my family. For me, this is a choice I’m more than willing to make!

Are you a mum in business, or thinking about that step? What are your big challenges, choices or questions about “having it all”?

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• i started a business online

In one of the Old Testament books of the Bible, Ecclesiastes, the author writes “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 1:9)

I cannot tell you how often I think about this when it comes to blogging.

There are no new ideas.

This is at once a wonderful relief; to know that we are not alone in our thoughts, joys, concerns and reflections and yet it can produce great uncertaintly and discomfort when we feel we might be accused of plagiarism, or that someone else has plagiarised us.

This idea has been floating in the back of my mind for some time now but it was Veronica’s post this morning What There Is vs What I Want You To See that sparked me to write about it. You see, just last night I thought of writing an almost identical post. But I was tired and it was too dark to take any decent photos, so I left it for another day. I awoke to see that indeed, great minds think alike!  And now, I don’t need to write that post – I can just share V’s. Win!!

This isn’t the first time this has happened, nor will it be the last. Many of you will know of Andrea from Fox’N'Flats weekly dare – it started last year with the very first dare being to wear lipstick every day for a week. This happened around the time my own lipstick adventures began and I had a post ready to go which invited my fellow readers to join me in a week long commitment to wearing lipstick. Of course, when Andrea’s post went live I shelved my own – it was a much better fit for her blog and has developed into an amazing and ongoing feature on her blog.

And of course, I worried that if I ran my post it would look like copying.

But it wasn’t.

It’s just that as bloggers (and often also as mums with children of similar ages and stages) we have a lot in common and it’s natural that we are going to be thinking about similar things at times. That doesn’t mean that outright plagiarism doesn’t exist but that we need to be careful about making assumptions about it and about second guessing ourselves.

A woman named Audre Lorde once said, “There are no new ideas. There are only new ways of making them felt.”

I LOVE that. Because I could write a post about my house and the way that missing one night of washing up makes me feel overwhelmed by the enormity of disaster around me. That the wash-rinse-repeat of the tidying, dishes, washing, sweeping makes me want to poke my eyes out with sticks…or just collapse in a heap. I could write that post and I could write about Pinterest and Design blogs and how I feel like a failure for not being able to keep up with it, mostly to not be tidy enough. That some days I walk out of the house hoping that I’m not caught in a horrific accident because I would just be so embarrassed if someone else had to come into our house and think “do they really live like this?!” And if I wrote those words, they would be mine. No one elses, no matter how many other blog posts were written about the same thing. My words, my feelings – and while granted that particular post would probably be quite depressing, that doesn’t make the power we each hold to be story tellers any less magnificent.

So the motto of the day is: Don’t stop telling stories because you are worried what someone else will think and don’t be annoyed when someone else steals the words right out of your mouth – instead see it as a chance to celebrate a bond, to be so thankful that there is another person out there who “gets” you.

Have you ever held back or felt worried about a post being considered a “copy” or do you think I’m full of hot air about this?

 

 

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There’s something about pregnancy that bonds women everywhere; we congratulate one another and commiserate with one another – sharing our experiences of morning sickness, nausea, being kicked in the ribs and all the rest that occurs during the “glowing” months.

 

As "glowing" as my belly was, here at 39weeks with Bliss.

Even once you’ve left the pregnancy stage behind you, reminiscing can be fun…and a good laugh! Once you’re through the rough bits, there’s a lot to be nostalgic about – especially as you get to know and love the child that came from it.

I must admit when I was pregnant with Bliss a lot of the books out there just weren’t my cup of tea. I wish I’d had Kellie O’Briens new book around to read (and my iPad to read it on, of course!).

Kellie’s newly recently released an ebook, takes you through her first pregnancy, with beautiful daughter Ella and then her first year as a Mum.

One of my favourite lines is this “When you start rabbiting on to the telemarketer about the amount of nappies you go through in one day and he actually hangs up on you, you know you’re in need of some serious help.”

Not because I could relate or anything *hangs head*.

But tell me this, which mother amongst us can’t relate to this experience of a play date? Play dates allow you to waste away (ahem, spend) an afternoon with a friend and claim interaction with others is in the best interests of your child’s mental and physical development. Her latest play date? OK, so she slept the whole time.

At this point I’ll stop quoting from the book and suggest you just go and get yourself a copy. This ebook is the perfect gift for yourself, or an expectant mum you know – and a wonderful way to support the sisterhood!

 

What makes you laugh and go “ah-ha!” when it comes to books about motherhood and pregnancy?

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