I was planning to write a post tonight about how incredibly unprepared I am for the 1st of December (let’s not mention the fact that I am yet to buy a single Christmas present!) and how I thought that was OK because I think most of us are wanting to teach our kids about the non-commercial aspects of Christmas and being a bit simple was probably quite a good thing. And then I got into one of those wierd daydreams about what my funeral would be like if I died – wierd leap, I know (please tell me you occassionally do this too?) and I realised that the people who have known me in my past and everyday life would have a very different picture of me than many of those who read my blog and know me online.
People in real life would know me as a bit of a Jesus freak. Not in a preachy way (not since school anyway) but in a studied at Bible college way, was a Children & Families Minister and Authorised Lay Minister in a Church kind of way, and that up until Bear was born I was the Early Childhood Ministries facilitator for the Baptist church in the state of VIC.
Those who know me through my blog would possibly know that I have a faith of some sort – depending on how long and often you’ve been reading my blog – but mostly you’d know me as a Mum and possibly “bloggy/brandy type person”.
So why I am writing this? Because the people who could testify to my life would (I hope) say that Jesus is in my life, in my home, in my kids lives, in my husbands life – we don’t just go to church on Sundays but we are Jesus people.
Where is Jesus in my blog?
I’ve not been intentionally not talking about my faith, it’s just not been on my mind to blog about…I don’t even know what it would look like for Jesus to be in my blog – I know what I wouldn’t want it to be like – preachy, dogmatic, arrogant. Maybe it’s been my fear of sounding like that or perhaps more that it takes so much work and emotional energy to write thoughtful posts let alone a thoughtful post about faith that I’ve been putting it off…I don’t know. I don’t know what this means either but I just know that tonight I need to say Jesus is in my blog because he’s in my life.
And now I shall tell you a story, about a teenage girl in a hotel room in Darwin in 1996 on a school camp. I was that girl (did you guess?) and I remember as clear as anything the room where I was, the Bible I had with me and most significantly, I remember God telling me (not audibly, but personally) that I was to spend my life serving in vocational Christian ministry (ie my job would be working in the church). At the time I was in a Sydney Anglican church and so there wasn’t the option of becoming an ordained minister, but I knew that being in the church was where my future was. Over the 15years since I’ve moved in that direction, done ministry traineeships, Bible college, come to a theological viewpoint (which is to say, I think the Bible says it ok) that women can be ordained but that that’s not where I am at personally right now. It was only this year when I went back to the Baptists when Bear was 4 months old (who by the way – wonderful employers!!) and had a mini-meltdown going back to work with a 3yo and 4month old who were both at home with me at the time (yes, I now recognise that was not a very sensible thing for me to do) when I realised I could still be called to ministry but work doing something else through this very unique season of life. It was only then that I kind of fell into social media/blogger engagement consulting – which I love, am good at and can work around family life (yay, yay, yay!)
But it doesn’t change what and who drives me, so if I die and you happen to go to my funeral – whether you’ve known me in the past in the present or simply online I want you all to know the same thing about me – Jesus is in my blog, because He’s in me.