For those who have been reading a while you may remember that a couple of years ago I decided to get rid of the word “busy” from my vocabulary. There were a number of reasons for doing it and through the process I discovered two things:

1. Life is what you make of it. Each day we are faced with choices about how we spend our time, what we prioritise and what we commit to. There is no denying that there are times when the choices are limited or not really our own and yet most of the time, we make the call about what we will do and when we will do it, or not do it as the case may be.

2. There are a lot of words you can substitute for “busy”. In the end I accepted this and found that by using other words, I was thinking more carefully about what I was feeling and why I was feeling what I was feeling.

By deliberately removing the word “busy” from my life I was much clearer about the activities I commited to and the rhythm of my life and it was good. It felt so good to escape the “I’m so busy” world that I’d found myself trapped in.

Since Bear was born that has gone out the window. In the ‘adjustment phase’ that I’m in (that seems to last 12months for me) the only rhythm I’ve been thinking about his his, mainlygetting him into one, and keeping Bliss in hers. I’ve committed to activities I shouldn’t have and found myself constantly feeling overwhelmed, letting others down, working ’til middnight, getting no clearning done and so my house looks like a bunch of crazy people have moved in and now I’m here writing this post on a Thursday when I know people don’t read my blog much on Thursdays! I’m….busy.

And so, I’m learning again. Back to square one.

I’m slowly releasing myself of the obligations I took on to soon. Slowly starting to make good choices again and slowly, but deliberately, considering the way I speak about my life. After all, everyone’s busy.

I’ve had a great weekend celebrating my 30th with some close friends and family. The Architect made an amazing lunch for us to share (for once the title of this blog makes a lot of sense!) and it was a beautiful day. Here are a few shots of the day…

With Aunty Awesome

and my wonderful Architect.

Besties.

Sometimes parenting really pays off…my wonderful friend Aunty Awesome arrived today. Whenever she is here it’s like the person who has been sitting on my chest has stood up.

I can breathe.

Bliss got up this afternoon and asked “Where’s Aunty?” It’s always nice tobe usurped by another person…but actually it’s very nice to see her loving someone who is so close to me.

I ducked out to do some last minute party planning and when I got back Aunty Awesome reported back.

Before I left I bribed treated Bliss to a milko. This tranpired…

Bliss: Would you like to share my treat?

AA: No thanks, you can have it but thanks for asking.

Bliss: We share with our friends, and you’re my friend.

All together now…awwww…

Before we get too gushy they also had this conversation when Bear woke up.

Bliss: He needs to have some milk from my mummie’s boobies. But not from your boobies, they’re too small.

When I asked her about this she told me that I have VERY big boobies.

Sheesh. Even my two year old has noticed!

Incoming search terms:

• Aunty breast
• boobs
• aunty boobs
• big boobs aunty
• aunty boob

This ain’t pretty folks. I didn’t mean to cry. It’s all your fault Anna :)

Oh, and I was going to show you the ring The Architect gave me for my birthday but I got distracted by my tears.

Next time, I’ll wear make up, improve the lighting and smile more!

And now, I’m off to do some housework!

x

1. I am not superwoman.

2. It’s not fair to get your period back so soon after having a baby. There’s enough to exhaust and overwhelm you without monthly hormones to “help”.

3. The Focus Booster is a great tool. Thanks Nicole.

4. I do have to work.

5. I don’t have to do everything I am doing.

6. I am made to work; I can’t help but do many of the things I am doing.

7. I am doing to much and  I am struggling. This could also have something to do with #2.

8. Small Notebook is wise and her words are with me a lot at the moment. Just because I could do something, doesn’t mean I should. Can someone make me a poster for my wall? I need that reminder every day.

9. My daughter is a soft, kind soul. “I’ll make you happy Mummy” she said and proceeded to fart. Then she danced for me…” She was right. She did make me happy.

10. Blogging is relational and centered on community.

11. It only takes one person to change the tone of a community.

12. Sometimes I wish I didn’t believe so strongly in being home with my kids when they are young because it’s hard and I want to do things. I never thought I would struggle so much with wanting it all.

13. When my kids overwhelm me I want to walk away. Not for long, but just to breathe again.

14. Just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean life stops – kids don’t sleep, people get sick. This doesn’t  bother me the way it would have at 20.

15. I want a dishwasher and a cleaner.

16. My mother taught me to say I’d “like” something rather than “want” it for a reason. It was a good reason.

17. I’d like a dishwasher and a cleaner.

18. There are boundaries with everything. Not everything needs to be spoken.

19. I want to give my girl a hug. See  #9.

20. I feel better – calmer, more centered, having written this post but…

21. Some things in my life need to change.