Me Time. We mothers talk about it a lot. Not getting enough, just had some, see it on the horizon, need it now, hand-me-a-large-pinot-stat.You name it, we’ve said it. But what is it exactly that we’re after?
I used to think it was time to myself, to do my own thing – whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. But, I’ve come to realise that I was confusing ‘me time’ with a basic human need: rest.
Sleep and rest are essential. Hair cuts, waxing, grocery shopping and exercise are functional. Girl’s Nights Out, movies, and lunch dates and bonuses BUT they are life giving bonuses.
I think that when we talk about ‘me time’ what we are talking about is going beyond the essential and functional to that which is life giving; to those things that give us the added energy and ‘spark’ to approach life with enthusiasm.
I’ve included hair cuts and waxing as functional because for me, they are. Add a lunch or coffee date with a friend to them and they are life giving. However, for another person those activities might be truly refreshing. That is both the mystery and beauty of people – we have the same needs but different expressions of them.
It didn’t occur to me until recently that ‘doing my own thing’ used to mean catching up with friends.
It also didn’t occur to me until recently that it still does.
It’s just taken me almost 3 years to figure it out, and do it without feeling overwhelmingly guilty. Guilty about the time, the money and the fact I am doing something fun without The Architect.
As I alluded to in my former post, I’ve recently discovered that a Girls Night Out ticks all the boxes for me. Away from the kids, feeling special, space to talk and enjoy the company of a great friend.
The Architect enjoys after work drinks at the pub or trip to the footy.
The lingering thought is, what about us time? Time for The Architect and I to share our dreams, talk about things other than the kids and eat without wondering which child will start crying first. Time to remember all the reasons we fell in love, rather than the reasons that sustain our love each day. It’s the latter than build a strong marriage but it’s the former that stir the heart.
Me Time. It’s pretty bloody important. For one, it gives you the space to realise it’s time to stir your heart again.