Last week was a rough week. For the past few months sleep has been pretty elusive around these parts and come last Thursday it finally overwhelmed me. I felt broken.

I can’t remember whether it was Thursday or Friday night but at some point after chasing my children back into bed for what felt like the hundreth time I thought to myself “I am not enjoying this.”

The “this” I was thinking of was not the bedtime dramas, it was motherhood

The thought flickered through my mind for just a moment, but it was a powerful moment.

Wasn’t it only a couple of weeks ago that I wrote right here on this blog that I wanted more children?

Aren’t I finally getting a handle on this mothering thing, and getting good at it?

Can I even be a good mother if I feel like this?

This is what I know…

• Sleep deprivation is a bitch.
• Looking after three children on your own night after night is tough.
• Having a toddler who still needs a day sleep but who then struggles to go to sleep anytime before 10pm is a pain.
• Trying to juggle a crying, tired baby with older siblings who would do, or say, just about anything to stall bedtime is anything but enjoyable.
• Bottom line – at the moment being a Mum feels like a load of responsibility and little time for fun.

It doesn’t make it fun, but it doesn’t make me a failure either…that’s-what-I’m-going-with.

Dear diary,

The strangest thing about this “diet” is that The Architect and I have both really started to enjoy, and even look forward to, our fasting days so I started the week on  a high – about fasting! At the same time, this week has been the hardest because of the sleep issues we are having in our house. I have just been so incredibly tired and have found the fast days a challenge – not because I’m hungry but because I have realised that when I am tired I eat. And eat. And eat. Somehow I hope that I’ll stumble across a food that will miraculously re-energise me. It never happens and I am left feeling worse off because I have just eaten so much random stuff! I am beginning to realise why it is that I gain weight while breastfeeding when most people lose it! The fasting days have forced me to find other ways of coping with being tired and while it’s early days I am pleased that I am becoming more aware of why I eat.

5 things I am loving about the Fast Diet in week 5!

1. It doesn’t feel like a diet
Twice a week I skip lunch, the rest of the week I eat carefree! I don’t have to calorie count or really do anything – it’s brilliant (is this the holy grail of weight loss??!! It sure seems like it). I weighed myself a couple of days ago and in just over 2 weeks had lost 2kgs. Amazing.

2. Being able to enjoy food without feeling guilty
I just finished off some really yummy ice cream before writing this post then I messaged my lovely friend Lexi about being excited about losing my baby weight and getting back into fashion. A month ago there would have been an uncomfortable irony about those two things happening simultaneously – not tonight!

I love that I can enjoy food without having a lingering sense that I probable shouldn’t have eaten it.

Note: I am not suggesting that you should eat a lot of fatty, high sugar foods when doing the Fast Diet BUT I am saying that they have a place in a normal, balanced diet and I am enjoying that I can, well, enjoy them.

3. Feeling energised and focussed
The first couple of weeks on the Fast Diet I felt tired come mid-afternoon but that was all gone this week. In fact, I have been feeling more energetic and inspired to be active. Not being able to rely on food to get me through the humps in the day/week has given me a clearer mind to think of what else I could do that would make me feel good.

4. The discipline of a fast day spills over into other areas of life
Eating 500 calories in a day takes planning and discipline – two things I have been wanting to work on in myself for a while. I am finding that being disciplined about these days is incidentally flowing into other areas of my life – I have been stricter with my use of technology and particularly the boundaries I have for myself when I’m with the kids, I’ve been more disciplined about housework and just feeling generally more organised. It’s definitely still early days but I am loving this side-effect!

 5. Feels like success, not restriction.
If there was one way I could sum up my experience so far it’s that it feels like something that sets you up for success! It’s becoming a new lifestyle for me, one that feels full of freedom not restriction. I can eat foods that might be considered high calorie (avocado, quality peanut butter, fruit) as much as I like – foods that might normally be limited on a traditional diet or program but are actually really good for you because they are low GI, or contain certain nutrients etc… I can also enjoy sweet treats (and I definitely am a sweet tooth) without feeling angsty about it. This just makes me feel really good about my fast days and the whole approach in general – I feel like I’m winning at it and that inspires me to keep going!

Dear Diary,

Hard to believe 4 weeks have flown by already – and it’s so much easier than I thought!! This week’s fasting days have definitely been the easiest so far – the days almost pass by without notice…

No more menu day dreaming
The first couple of weeks I really found myself preoccupied on fast days with what I was going to eat the next day – I’d dream about going to a fave cafe for breakfast and think about enjoying dinner with The Architect at the end of the day. This week that was all but gone. On Monday I even prepared three meals – one for the older kids, one for Bluey and then the fast meal for us and didn’t have any desire to eat along the way. I still find snack times a bit hard – cutting up fruit or cheese for the kids is a real temptation but it’s coming from a place of habit rather than hunger.

No more headaches
During week 3 I found I had a roaring headache on fast days. They were gone this week which was great!

Decreased desire for sweet pick me ups…
Other interesting things I am noticing is that I no longer crave chocolate – don’t get me wrong I’ll still completely enjoy a good quality chocolate, but I no longer crave it for the sake of it. Since my first pregnancy I have found myself craving sugar as an energy pick me up. It never did give me any additional energy mind you, but if I could sneak in a little choccie (peppermint crisp anyone?!) I would do it.

That desire for a super sweet chocolate hit has all but gone.

I am also enjoying getting out and about with the pram, feeling that though I have been bone tired thanks to the boys sleep issues over the past couple of months, I am coping mentally and emotionally better with it than I might have expected.

My pants are getting baggy…veeerryyy baggy.

I have decided not to weigh myself weekly during this program as this is about healthy and a long term lifestyle change as much as it is about weight loss, but my clothes do give me hints. This week all of my jeans are very baggy which is a nice bonus!

YAY! Bring on week 5.

Love Louisa

Our journey so far:
What is the 5:2 Fast Diet and why do it?
Diary of the Fast Diet: Weeks 1-3

Dear diary,

I am excited about starting this new regime! I think it’s going to take a little getting used to but the health benefits and weight loss perks make it pretty darn attractive. I have decided that I won’t be weighing myself regularly throughout this – I don’t want to become focused on the scales and my clothes will provide a good enough marker of whether or not I am losing weight.

I also don’t want Bliss to see me (or The Architect) “weighing in” regularly and know that scales can be unhealthy so instead I will check in on the scales at a friends house every once in a while if I want to get a closer idea of how I am tracking. That should be enough. 

I think it’s worth taking a pause at the outset to consider what I hope will come from this program:

1. I would like to lose weight – I am not comfortable at the weight I am now and would like to get back to my pre-1st-pregnancy weight and think that is a reasonable and healthy goal.

2. I would like to see my body working more efficiently and am really inspired by the health benefits that come with intermittent fasting.

3. I really enjoy food! My husband is a great cook and we really enjoy sharing a meal together. I hope that doing this program will enable us to enjoy good food without feeling “guilty”. 

Week 1
I found myself very aware of my desire for food this week and it was interested to observe which were hunger based desires (very few of them) and what was pure habit (most of my desire to eat came from habit or access to food rather than any real hunger). The great thing about the fast days has been knowing that the next day I can eat normally. In many ways the fast days reminded me of the 12 Week Body Transformation – the thing I found hardest about 12WBT (and similar programs I have done) is that every day is calorie restricted which I found made food and what I could/couldn’t constantly dominate my thoughts – it was like I had a constant calculator running through my head. I don’t want to live my life approaching food like that!! Knowing that these fasting days aren’t endless has really helped me get through this first week.

Week 2
This week I realised that on fast days I spend a lot of time day dreaming about what I will have for breakfast the next day. I am not necessarily longing for high calorie food, just a really nice meal! I am still finding that knowing the fast will be over at the end of the day really helps me get through the moments when I feel hungry. I also (perhaps perversely) am enjoying the discipline of it. Becoming a more disciplined person was something I wanted to be more deliberate about this year and this fasting approach has been an unexpected help with that.

Week 3
Each week I am finding the fasting elements easier to manage and I am feeling less hungry on fasting days – that was a real bonus this week. On the downside,this week I really struggled with headaches and had to pop panadol twice on Thursday. I was also quite distracted and found it hard to be productive because of the headache.I know that I could have broken the fast and eaten something (and I did have a carrot in the late arvo) but I feel like I need to push through the early weeks because my body is still adjusting to this new routine.

I did weigh in this week and found that I was about 5kg (11lbs) lighter than I thought I was which I found encouraging. I will weigh myself again in a couple of weeks time and think that will be an interesting indication of whether this is working well for my weight loss goals.

I am excited to say that I am looking forward to week 4!

Cheers,

Louisa

 

A few months ago my husband watched a documentary by Michael Mosley about his journey toward better health and weight loss through intermittent fasting . At first glance it seemed pretty intense but the results his own blood work was showing was incredible. At the time of making the doco he had been told that it wasn’t a case of “if” he would have a heart attack, but “when” – by the end of the doco his risk factors has reduced to almost zero.

At the time I didn’t think much more about it but The Architect’s interest had been piqued and he started to look into it some more. What he found was compelling! The studies so far are showing that intermittent fasting has some major health benefits (these are taken directly from the fast diet official site which you can read here):

Unsurprisingly these are some pretty appealing stats and moreover, what we both liked about the approach was that it felt like something we could incorporate into our lifestyle. I’ve had my fill of calorie or points counting and I am sleep deprived enough to know that trying to fit in a few hours of exercise each week is not something I can realistically achieve at this point in my life. Fasting twice had real appeal from the outset and I’ve got to tell you that as we enter our fifth week of it both The Architect and I have found ourselves enjoying our fast days.

Principles of the Fast Diet

I think it’s important to say that though this is called a “diet” it’s really a simple lifestyle change and I think of the word “diet” as to mean “way of eating” as opposed to the idea of dieting we are used to hearing/thinking/talking about.

Breaking it down it’s quite simply that 5 days a week you eat normally and 2 days a week you limit your calorie intake.

The 5 normal days – there are schools of thought that say you can “eat whatever you want” however we are opting for a “normal” rather than “abundant” approach  which is also what Michael Mosley promotes.

The 2 fast days. On fast days the goal is to focus on eating high protein foods and limiting your calorie intake to 500cals for women and 600cals for men.You can do this through lots of small meals, one main meal or as we have chosen, two meals a day. We have brekkie around 7.30am and dinner around 7.30/8pm and then resume eating normally the following morning. As I am breastfeeding (and also just dealing a lot of food in the arvo because of the kids) I also make sure that  I have a carrot in the fridge in case I need it in the late afternoon on fast day. We also drink tea, coffee, water as needed throughout the day.

Over the course of this week I am going to be sharing our journey so far and will then continue to share a weekly diary update on the experience. If you’re doing the 5:2 Fast Diet or have questions about it, I’d love to hear from you!

In the meantime you can watch the doco below:

Eat, Fast & Live Longer HD by limoslight

Are you doing the fast diet? Do you think it would work for you?

What I can I even say about this boy – I mean seriously, just look at that adorable face!!!

I was all set to write a post tonight about how amazing having three kids is, how much I am loving it…and then Bluey had a major (for him) crying session and it’s prompted an entirely different post.

I have written many times before that the thing that threw me most when Bliss arrived was that I did not transform into barefoot-in-the-kitchen-domestic-goddess. I never, in my wildest dreams, thought that with my third child such a big piece of that version of me would be born.

As sad as I was to see him sad tonight, I found myself  so content in holding him, rocking him, soothing him. For many of your earth-mamas out there you might be thinking “so what?”…but I am not a patient person. I have been up since 5am, The Architect is out tonight so I have been dealing with the kids solo and haven’t had dinner yet. According to my nature, I should have been frustrated by his cries…and hungry.

But, I wasn’t…well, maybe a tiny bit hungry ;)

This baby has awakened in me something I have longed for over the past 5 years. It’s not him, per se (as wonderful as he is), I think I am simply getting the hang of things – and hopefully growing into a better, more patient and fun Mum to my older two kids.

This baby has changed me in a way I never dreamed, and I am so, so grateful. I think the kids will be too!

And now I need to go get my dinner off the stove so it’s over to you…

Are any of you getting me. Are you/were you natural born mamas or did it come along over time…or are you still waiting?